This is a hard one for me. I'm not sure how I feel about it, or what it means to me now. I know that when I wrote my 101 Things list I wanted desperately to have a full time job again. I wanted to be back in the world of architecture.
After I got laid off last year (or “made redundant”, as the Brits would say), I went on a bit of a downward spiral. I felt rejected, like someone had singled me out for removal. Never mind that the entire economy was collapsing at the seams, and unemployment numbers were at a record highs nationwide. Recession, schmession. When it happens to you it still feels strangely personal. So in my world of frustration and re-evaluation, I made the decision that I did in fact want to stay in the architecture world. I realized that I am a glutton for punishment after all.
Sure, I did other things during the months I had off, and they were great. I learned some web design. I put my portfolio on the Internet for potential employees. I fixed and redesigned my portfolio. I entered a couple of urban design competitions. I volunteered with a local architecture group. I did a lot of Coop shifts (my local grocery cooperative). I became LEED certified. I practiced my photography. I read and went sight seeing. I tried many new recipes. I got a couple of random freelance jobs. I started the 101 Blog in order to document all the random accomplishments I noticed I could have that were unrelated to my linear career path. It was a wonderful feeling to grow as a person and engage other talents and curiosities.
But still, in the back of everything, I wanted a full time job in an architecture firm. I didn’t care if I’d design bathrooms, make door schedules, draw stairs, or all the other boring aspects of the construction process that I had so carefully avoided before. And when I finally got an interview in a small firm that specialized in interiors work, I accepted their offer happily.
It was a joke of a job.I won’t put their name here, because I don’t want to burn bridges by bad-mouthing a previous employer.But this was supposed to be a two week freelance/contract job position that transformed into working overtime with way too much responsibility but without any type of health benefits or job security.
I was learning a lot, really being a part of the building process from inception to coordination to construction, and I was excited about this aspect of the position. But ultimately, the total lack of professionalism in treating their employees, verbal abuse when we made mistakes and/or asked questions to fix issues, and my boss’ strange inability to pay us on time, made me leave. I waited for over a week and a half for the last late paycheck, and then informed him that I couldn’t stay in the company. I didn’t even have a contract.
So…. I am not sure if my goal was actually fulfilled. In a way, I accomplished the letter of the item, but not the spirit. I am content with the fact that for over 5 months I had a full time obligation, a desk and a computer, where I interacted with clients and consultants, and I had responsibilities that had real world consequences.
So in that sense..... full time job DONE. I don’t regret ending this freelance job for a second, it was the best decision for my sanity and career, but I think I’ll miss that feeling of accountability while I figure all these things out at home.
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