La Dulce Espera

So the baby is late, which was actually what we were expecting originally.  For some reason, since the beginning of the pregnancy, I've been convinced that the baby would be late coming.  There was no actual evidence for this, just a hunch based on when things were happening in terms of the pregnancy milestones.

So now she's about 5 days late, which the doctor has explained is not actually "late" as about 50% of babies are born after the due date.  We shouldn't be surprised, yet we are.  And well meaning relatives calling everyday to find out the progress sometimes make it feel like its even more delayed.

What no one tell you is how exhausting being overdue is.  Starting Saturday I've been having several bouts of false labor.  Basically contractions start, they are uncomfortable (some even pretty painful), and then after a few hours they start to slow down.  And since all these episodes are within the due date range, we have to treat them as potential prelabor.  The problem is what its doing to my emotional balance.  Each time the contractions start, I get myself into a mental place to be ready for upcoming labor.  But then when the contractions slow down, it feels incredibly exhausting.  It's like wasted mental energy, which I can't get back.

I know that I should look at all these as practice runs, and that contractions for several days are actually pretty common.  But I've never been really good at going with the flow.  And maybe this is the baby's way to prepare me for motherhood, to embrace that which I cannot control, to let go a little over my wanting to know where things fit in time.  Really, the pregnancy was too easy, every test came out positive, I wasn't feeling that sick, I was able to travel....  it was about time something didn't go according to plan.  So I just need to stay positive, which is proving more difficult than I thought.

On the other hand, we got to have another sonogram and confirm that baby is still awesome and healthy.  It was so exciting to double check she's still a girl, and she's got a heartbeat and is moving on her own.  AND, they gave us a close up of her face, which was incredibly exciting.  What can I say, she looks like a newborn (though a blurry sonogrammy one) with big chubby cheeks.  So beautiful!